"The humiliation game is something that embarrasses you terribly, but doing it turns you on. And as you get excited you feel more ashamed. Then you get excited and everything becomes a chain reaction," he explains. My dominance started in a BDSM session about ten years ago, with trips to New York, where he visited theme shops and clubs, and the first websites on the subject. Now he has professionalized and charges $ 200 an hour, and he does not give sessions of less than two hours (some sessions can last even several days). He told me this in a café with an atypical midday hail that gave him an air of hardness at the moment.
My dominator, whom I will call Hector Dominant (to protect his identity), explained everything that will happen in the session and how I should prepare. It seems that BDSM practice, unlike conventional heterosexual sex, is not something that can be done so quickly, which adds a certain degree of tension. You have to prepare several days in advance. "There are different skins and levels of pain. Submission does not imply masochism, they are two different things. One is the taste to relinquish control, the orders, and the other has to do with the taste for pain. You can find submissives who do not tolerate the pain but they like to be tied up, and you can find masochists who are not submissive but who turn the pain on. And the most common is those who combine both things, "says Héctor, who is also a friend of the slave queen Bococu . We all expose ourselves, but definitely the one who bears the greatest risk is the submissive part. If you are going to be naked and tied up at the mercy of someone, it is convenient to know who is going to be and under what conditions. [...] The game is to be an asshole. It is being a bastard, there is a lot of sadism, or of making people suffer, but it is a suffering that you like. That is the basis of all this. That is super important: every game of this nature is part of the consensus, "he says. SSC is an indispensable term in this practice and is the acronym for safe, sane and consensual ("safe, healthy and consensual"). The first thing is security. "You have to define limits. Although you have no idea what this is, you do have a slight notion of what you definitely will not do: nothing to do with eschatology, nothing with zoophilia, nothing illegal, no minors and nothing risky or pain extreme. "I am not interested in hurting. I see this game as the use of BDSM session for a pleasant purpose. It is clear to me that it is a fantasy that seeks pleasure on both sides. "Much of the submissive's pleasure is to please her master. Things she may not necessarily like on her own, but her taste or excitement comes from pleasing the master. But as a master you somehow please your sub.
"My first contact is always very respectful. There is a space and a time for everything. Respect is essential. When I am humiliating you, I am not disrespecting you, we understand that we are playing. I am doing what I do, you want me to do it. We are talking about a fantasy. [...] It is very theatrical, but it is part of the joke. "
Then I talked with Karenina, the dog (because it enters the Puppy Play and other degrees of intensity) of Héctor Dominante. She likes ropes, ties, and especially the punishment rod. She reached her master through a website. He says that at the beginning there was a debate between whether to continue or not, whether it is right or wrong to feel pleasure with this practice "and to realize that it has nothing to do with the idea of ​​mistreatment. Yes, there are things that hurt too much, but I'm going to tolerating or mixing with other games. But back and forth with emotions. "
Karenina guided me a lot. Apparently there are less unfair relationships here for women than in monogamous hetero-vanilla relationships. "There is respect. I like that a lot. When it is no, it is no and it is respectable. There is a lot of trust in BDSM session. To get to that practice, there must be a lot of trust," he says. To the newbies he recommends "to be very confident in what you want. You will have the feeling of doubt whether what I did is right or not, but you will advance to something else when you are satisfied with this because it is also a question of satisfaction. It is a very pleasant practice, of mental balance. You have to transform yourself and adopt that role, one is not like this every day. Adopt all the protocol. "
PREPARATION
Here begins the real masochism. The standards of beauty imposed on women are nothing but the most sadistic practices that anyone could have come up with.
Complete hair removal: For the session you must go shaved from, from, the pussy . I had always been pulled over with burning wax like a chicken plucked out, but this time a friend recommended laser hair removal. It is very bulky but it does not hurt as much as the lava that they throw in some aesthetics.
SAFETY WORD
This is the most important BDSM session. It is when the submissive says that she already wants to stop for pain or for any reason. "It may be a word that has nothing to do with the game. But it was standardized as much as it is a traffic light: red is 'it's over'. When they tell you red it is red at that moment."